Who the haich e double hockey sticks am I?

Is this a trick existential question?

There is this truly amazing person over here at My Daily Jennism who no joke my friends is  a foster mom.  How fecking cool is that?  Hats off to her because...well just because.  I can barely handle the children I gave birth to (Yes we all know I love them dearly.  When they are sleeping.) and she still not only battles her own heathens raises her own kids but has energy left over for others that come her way.  With a sense of humor to boot.  Anyway, she very coolly tagged me after she got tackled tagged by another seriously funny and gracious lady Menopausal Mother. Gracious enough to take a get to know you game that originated on facebook and pare 45 questions down to 25.

Ok, the rules of the game are that I'm supposed to tell you a bit about me.  Which I'm totally down with, since I've done nothing in this blog to let people see the real, unvarnished me (said no one.)  Then I get to find ten? other bloggers to tag.  It's like pass the baton for bloggers.  Only I know so few bloggers that anyone I tag with my baton is likely to wonder who this zookeeper's wife person is and then wonder if the baton has been sanitized.  (I promise I got all the fox poop off of it.  I think.)

1.  Where were you born?  I was born in Beaufort, South Carolina at the Beaufort Naval Hospital.  My dad was a Marine and three months after I was born he left for Viet Nam.  The first song I learned was "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star."  The second was the Marine Corps Hymn.

2.  Were you named after someone?  As a matter of fact, I was.  My dad had this thing for Tammy Wynette.  Don't ask me why because the workings of the male mind after all these years still elude me.  But he liked Tammy and...so let it be written, so let it be done.  My mother didn't like the way it was written and changed the "y" to an "ie."  My grandmother really didn't want it to be written at all because she thought Tammie was a nick name and not a proper name. (Mom's mom, and her relationship with my dad was something along the lines of Endora and Derwood.  Of course she won.)

So I got to be named Tamara.  And called Tammie until I was an adult and put away childish things like "Stand by Your Man" and those horrible "Tammy and the Bachelor" songs. I started going by my given name (thank you Gramma) and said so long to Tammie with an "ie."  Thinking on it the whole thing could have been avoided and made way more cool if my dad decided to name me after the other great crush of his life Janis Joplin.

3.  If you have children, how many do you have?  I have four children.  Three girls I gave birth to and one zookeeper.  There is hope that the girls will grow up and move out someday.  The zookeeper I think I might be stuck with.

4.  How many pets do you have?  Oh, goodie, I get to give the zoo's PSA.  Because everyone seems to think that all the zoo animals must be pets if they live in my barn and backyard.  Truth is I have three cats and a dog.  That's it for pets.  The wallabies, foxes, lemurs, small cats, porcupines, hedge hogs, chinchillas, armadillo, rabbits, coati mundis, birds, bats, bugs, spiders, lizards, alligators, croc, giant snakes, small snakes and various other animals are all working animal ambassadors and not pets.  Thank fecking gawd.

5.  What was your worst injury?  The first time I got my heart broken sucked large.  Oh, not like that?  Well there was this one time I came out of a bar after meeting a gf for a drink (yes, A drink.  One.) and fell on the icy sidewalk.  I tore a chunk out of my knee, crawled back into the bar and proceeded to pass out from the pain while bleeding all over the carpet.  My first ambulance ride and the only time I had to have stitches for something unplanned.  I totally rocked the knee immobilizer I got to spend six weeks in though.

6.  Do you have a special talent?  Yup.  I can hyper-extend my elbows so that I can turn my hand and forearm 360*.  And I can tickle my own feet.

7.  What's your favorite thing to bake?  Lasagna.  It used to be Lemon Zucchini muffins with cream cheese frosting but according to the zookeeper it's ixnay on the ourflay.  And before anyone objects, rice noodles make a perfectly good substitute when the sauce is fabulous.

8.  What is your favorite fast food?  Oh, hands down it's a Big Mac and fries.  But since that's taboo too I'll go with avocados.  They are the perfect fast food.

9.  Would you bungee jump?  Feck no.  My biggest fear is falling from someplace high.  I have absolutely no desire to willingly turn myself into a human yo-yo.

10.  What is the first thing you notice about people?  Their shoes.  No seriously.  Shoes say a lot about a person. The other thing I notice is body language.  You can learn so much just by watching people and what they do with their bodies.

11.  When was the last time you cried?  Good grief.  I'm 43 and going through my midlife crisis, I'm at the start of that hormonal "m" word that no one ever wants to talk about, and I just closed a store that I loved working at.  Plus I have a Pisces Moon.  When was the last time I didn't cry?

12.  Any current worries?  Global warming, the state of the economy, when the zoo will get its 501(c)3 status, a child with anger issues, will I find a job, when can we get the roof fixed, gun violence, equal rights for everyone, what will we have for dinner tomorrow...nope.  I'm not currently worried about a dang thing.

13.  Name three drinks that you drink regularly.  Coffee, coffee, wine.  Breakfast, lunch and dinner.

14.  What is your favorite book?  That's a tough one because I love to read.  If pressed I'd have to say To Kill a Mockingbird.

15.  Would you like to be a pirate?  Sail around the Caribbean on a boat in the sunshine all day?  After I just tried to shovel two feet of snow so I could find my car?  Where do I sign up?  Besides, the SEC has been getting away with it for years.

16.  What are you favorite smells?  Lavender and vanilla.  Summer rain.  Freshly cut grass.  Christmas trees.  Strong Kona coffee that's just been brewed.  Brownies right from the oven.

17.  Why do you blog?  Because my throat chakra's blocked. 

18.  What song do you want played at your funeral?  "I'll Fly Away"

19.  What is your least favorite thing about yourself?  I never learned anything about plumbing, electrical wiring and horse hair plaster.  Which means I'll probably die some night when the pipes freeze and there is no heat.  The pipes will burst starting an electrical fire that burns me to cinders and the ashes from my DIY cremation will blow into the cracks in the plaster.  Unless I win the lottery.  Or become a pirate.  See number 15.

20.  What is your favorite hobby?  Studying astrology.  It's pretty cool to figure out that my life is messed up for a reason.  Plus it makes looking at the stars on a clear night more interesting.

21.  What do you look for in a friend?  Honesty, loyalty and a twisted sense of humor.  Fluency in sarcasm is always a bonus.

22.  Name something you've done that you never thought you'd do?  Hello?? Living in a zoo over here....

23.  What are your favorite things to do?  Play in the dirt and call it gardening.  Go to the beach. Anything that I can use as an excuse not to clean the house or do laundry.

24.  Any pet peeves?  Toothpaste not rinsed out of the sink.  Dribbles on the toilet seat.  Dishes piled in the sink so you can't even turn on the faucet without getting splashed.  Not being able to find the tweezers.  Having things like my garden gloves, mops, brooms, dishes whatever disappear and later finding them in the zoo.

25.  What's the last thing that made you laugh?  Trying to figure out who a newbie like me can find to tag for this deal that hasn't already been, and then imagining their reaction.

Since I'm not the girl in the know in the blogging world, I spent a good deal of time exploring the blogs from the Circle of Moms Top 25 contest and found these gems...

http://mylattebringstheboys.blogspot.com/

http://lisamchugh.blogspot.com/

http://elbowdeepinsomeoneelsesshit.blogspot.com/

http://bipolarmom101.blogspot.com/

http://www.myhalfassedlife.com/

http://sweetoliana.blogspot.com/

http://dribblesandgrits.blogspot.com/

http://thingscartersays.blogspot.com/

http://nickieslittlebubble.blogspot.com/

That's only nine, I know, so I just want to send any of the four or so of you reading this over to visit a very special lady who alread answered this.  Well sort of but...

http://underachievingdomesticgoddess.blogspot.com/2012/11/who-is-dg.html